Breaking Point

At times we’re handed missions
we know are not humanly possible, 

yet we give it our best 
and wait to see what happens.

   Four days without food, very little sleep and extreme physical exertion for an extended period of time left me utterly exhausted with mental fatigue beyond anything I have ever experienced. Half way through my journey on a freeway out in the middle of nowhere still trying to catch my breath, my body was so famished I was seriously considering how I could eat my car door. 

   The lonely barren road spanned 100’s of miles before I would reach any sort of relief. In utter agony I squirmed, hummed and tried to sing my favorite song but the misery continued to strangle me until it became so unbearable I simply burst into tears, and as they flowed the lid to pandoras box slid open… songs from the past playing synchronistically in the background while the rolling green hills passed by as witnesses to my pain, pulling my entire life up before me like a near death experience where everything hovers right before your eyes in vivid 3D with replay excruciatingly more real than life. I had reached my breaking point.

   Troubles, tribulations, friends and foe, the wretched suffering of bad times, the ecstasy of strong bonds, the grief and sorrow of hardships and tragedies of life, love lost and love re-found, those who helped and those who destroyed, the good, the bad and the holy, all vivid and stinging as a torch burning the experiences of life, like a brand, into my soul.

   With no where to go but within I dove inside right to the heart of the most excruciating torment and physical pain, facing it directly, boldly, with everything I had left…. and suddenly the desolation disappeared, leaving only the ecstatic rhapsody of life.

   My hunger evaporated, my fatigue lifted, my energy returned and all I had done was embrace the pain. Then I realized, when we move deeply and courageously within our own soul we find a taste of godliness we would have never known existed, and it’s the hard times that guide us there, helping us recognize… only the good is real.

Ehsida Bisset