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Trauma Bonding

“No one is so brave 
That he is not disturbed by something
Unexpected.”

~ Julius Caesar

   A phenomena that often boggles the minds of onlookers, lovers, experts and authorities, holds crucial insights into how mysterious and incomprehensible invisible energy exchange actually is. This phenomena is known as Trauma Bonding. 

   Imagine  parent “A,” an abuser, and parent “N,” a nurturer. Parent “A,” has been mentally, emotional and physically abusing a child in the family. At some point parent “N,” becomes aware of the abuse, and brings it to the attention of authorities. The authorities put both parents in a room, then have the child enter. To the confusion and astonishment of authorities, the abused child will choose, or lovingly move toward the abuser, Parent “A,” time and time again, bypassing the nurturer, parent ’N,’ who has never harmed the child, and instead lovingly protected them as best they could.” Why ?

What an abuser knows, which victims do not, 
Is that every harm, disrespect, cruelty, vicious look or egregious action
Initiates an invisible energy siphoning from the victim 
Directly into the energy field of the abuser,
Causing the victim to become emotionally and energetically bonded to their abuser.
The more traumatized the victim is, the more attached they grow,
Because the abuser now holds the victim’s very own life force as ransom.

   Eventually the victim will feel a devilishly powerful love bond for the abuser that no one, not even the most loving person in their world could compare with, because what the victim is attached to and longing for is their own energy.

The victim cannot compute what has happened? 
They just know they need the abuser and they better ‘behave’ around that person,
 Or the abuser is likely to take more of them,
Which they are shockingly skilled at doing.

   Have you ever listened for hours as someone complains about their abusive partner, friend, boss etc., stating how much they hate them, can’t wait to be rid of them, calling them every name in the book, only to watch them fall right back into the clutches of this person, becoming more deeply entrenched, making excuses for them, while you watch them dying more every day, losing themselves more in every possible way, no matter how painful or dangerous the situation becomes? This is Trauma Bonding. 

   Victims are trained, through the diminishment of their well being and confidence, destruction of their character through manipulation and humiliation, dissolving of personal power and identity, to succumb to more and more severe levels of abuse, often to the point of illness, mental, emotional and physical breakdown and complete loss of clarity or the ability to reason. Victims can become so damaged under extreme levels of trauma they become reversed, lose their original integrity and take on the identity of their abuser, performing the same mistreatment on those who are as innocent as they once were, unknowingly attempting to gain back some life force to survive.

“No one told me there would be days like this.”

John Lennon

   For empaths out there, it’s imperative you know about character disturbance, because you won’t see it coming even if that person is wearing a neon sign….it’s simply too foreign to believe others without empathy or conscience actually exist. But they do.

   Serial abusers with character disturbance lure prey into their sticky web with strategically manipulative mind games no one would suspect could lead to their demise. These people are generally extremely likable, fun, interesting and often good looking. Although they may feign love in the beginning, they have no intention of real reciprocation, of eventually treating the victim well, building a mutual partnership, letting the victim go, working things out, or of changing. Their only intention is winning, which often means a complete siphoning of the victims energy field through the destruction of their self esteem, happiness, health, career, love life, family, friendships, self respect, bank account and character. It’s a game, plain and simple, yet to the victim it’s their life.

   The more the victim gives of themselves, the less they are themselves, 
And the more they fall helpless as a puppet under the spell of an unscrupulous person.
The abuser knows this, which is why they demand more and amp up the abuse, 

Quite aware they will gain more power and control with each up leveling. 

   If the abuser senses they are losing control or may have overstepped a boundary…no worries, they just turn on their unprecedented charm, feigning kindness or interest the victim so desperately seeks, and presto, the victim sparkles with joy and excitement, opening their innocent heart even more to the abuser, who then smacks them even harder with cruelty, shock or betrayal soon after, internally snickering at the victims never-ending gullibility and stupidity. These insidious traps work like a charm time and time again, as a normal human simply cannot conceive of this level of cruelty, cunning or callousness. 

   It’s the unexpected that cuts the deepest to reap the greatest energy withdrawal. These are common day vampires who steal a person’s life and soul, gaining power from raping their energy field through trauma. 

The more an abuser harms, humiliates, tortures and diminishes their victim, 
the less energy the victim has to break free. 

The more the victim attempts to please the abuser 
the more the abuser perceives they have gained total control over their prey.

When the victim reaches the point where they would DO ANYTHING for the abuser,
their loyalty will later be used against them as blackmail.

   To an abuser, love and kindness are viewed as weakness. The main emotion, if you can call it an emotion, the abuser has, is self pity. They want and expect others to give them what they need or want, and they make certain they get it, like a piranha that never lets go.  They have no concern about what others need or want, unless it serves them to play on that person’s needs to get what they want.

The unsuspecting victim truly believes the abuser must appreciate all the acts of kindness, love, money, energy, gifts, favors, sacrifices etc. they shower upon the abuser, yet the abuser is truly incapable of feeling any sincere fondness or appreciation for anyone.

   They may claim fondness or appreciation to get more, but in the end it will become painfully evident that nothing given or sacrificed registered any gratitude. Like a cat devouring a mouse, they enjoy the chase and the meal without regret or remorse.

Those with deep character disturbance only look human. 
There are no true loving human emotions happening within them.

   The level of emotional, mental and physical ruin these relationships cause is beyond any victims recognition. Trying to move out into the world as the person they once were is devastatingly impossible. What likely occurs is the victim will attract more highly devious abusers that cause more severe annihilation and harm until the victim gives up altogether on love and life. Addiction is in large part due to this sort of unfathomable pain which simply cannot be faced without real support.

   To heal from Trauma Bonding and abuse, victims must first understand they were dealing with someone who was very ill, someone who was not fully human. They expected sanity and mutual cooperation, yet sanity was never there to begin with. The victim never saw it coming…even if they imagined the worst. Life threatening levels of trauma can cause a victim to believe they are losing their mind.

   Those with severe character disturbance, according to experts in this field, are not capable of change or of sustaining any show of improved behavior beyond a short period of time. Good behavior is the honeymoon phase while they cleverly set a victim up for the next assault.

   Victims of Trauma Bonding are usually ‘created’ in childhood. If a caretaker was abusive, this becomes misinterpreted as normal bonding to the victim and on it goes within each new relationship. Genuine love and tender caring toward a victim of Trauma Bonding may be viewed as unreal, unsafe, undeserved, confusing or uncomfortable, causing the victim to continually choose abusive relationships, which feel more familiar, over loving relationships until the original abuse is healed, and it can be healed.

Breaking up with a dysfunctional narcissist is like waking up from a coma.
You have to re-learn even the most basic things of your daily life.
This is because during the course of the relationship… 
You were slowly and methodically being erased.

~ i.once.was.lost

   Have you ever found yourself in a fowl mood, purposefully taking your unhappiness out on another who has done nothing wrong? Subconsciously, you know you will get energy that way. At our worst we all do it to each other.  Cruelty or unkindness hurts the heart, weakens the protective energy field around the body, allowing life force to flow from the person in pain directly into those who have less light. Its a lesson hard learned for those who carry more light until they understand how to protect their own energy field and choose friends and associates wisely.

Anyone who has ever abused, harmed or injured you 
still holds aspects of your energy, soul fragments, and your vitality,
giving them influence over you in some way. 

   To reclaim your sovereignty you must call back your energies and essences because they are rightfully yours and will return to you when you command it.  This recording is meant for those who have been through trauma, who are ready to call back energies and return any energies that may have been taken from others or attached by others.

 

   Quick Heal Command:

I return to rightful owner all that is mine in divine right order and harmony.
I release all unresolved conflict and surrender to my highest path.

May all hearts be healed

Ehsida

Quote from an abuser on empathic humans:

“Ordinary humans – those unfortunate creatures with fears, insecurities, emotional vulnerabilities and sensitivities and especially compunctions about their actions that arise from their conscience – are innately weak, inferior, defective and relatively worthless beings. They’re not as entitled to survive.”

Excerpt from the book Character Distrubance by ~ Georgie K Simon Jr, Ph.D.

References:

Lisa Renee – Energetic Synthesis
Character Disturbance by Georgie K Simon Jr, Ph.D.
The Mask of Sanity  by Hervey Cleckley, M.D.
The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout, Ph.D.
Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra L. Brown, M.A.
(This is good for men to read as well. Just reverse the gender)